Things all lazy girls do

Ah, the life of a lazy girl. So bittersweet. It’s great when you’re in bed eating Sains basics biscuits and drinking tea (deffo not what I’m doing rn why would you even think that) but not so good when said snacks and tea run out or when you actually have to commit to daily tasks and responsibilities. But let’s revel in the laziness for a bit and talk about those all too familiar habits that we LazyGirls™ engage in on a daily basis.

(Disclaimer: Lazy boys this ones for you too but I don’t think you worry about things like shaving your legs and washing ur beauty blender as much as we ladies do)

NO. 1 – THE ANKLE GRAZER

I am a big fan of trainers and turned up jeans. Unfortunately (for me and my boyfriend) I am not a big fan of shaving my legs on a regular basis. Let’s be honest here it is long. That and every time I shave my legs in the shower I feel like I am going to topple over, hit my head and die right there tangled up in the shower curtain like a big fleshy spider human.

The solution? Shave dem ankles. It’s so much quicker and easier and less likely to lead to shower related deaths. However the only downside of the ankle shaving trick is that my boyf probably wishes it didn’t exist and that I would actually shave my damn legs. But shaving my ankles is more leg shaving than he does, so the way I see it is that I’m actually putting more into this relationship than him at the moment. What a dick.

NO. 2 – LEAVING YOUR MAKEUP ON OVERNIGHT SO THAT IT FESTERS ON YOUR SKIN LIKE A NICE KIND OF MOULD

Okay firstly let me say that I would not recommend this. We all know that every girl wishes she had better skin, and if you don’t then your skin is too good and you are probably engaging in some sort of black magic rituals so pls get off this blog. If you want good skin don’t leave your makeup on overnight. Be kind to yourself and leave a makeup wipe, glass of water and slice of bread on your bedside table for when you come home. Sounds weird but I can vouch for it, it helps.

Secondly let me say that one of the most depressing visions in the world is when you walk over to the mirror in the morning and see a severely smudged version of last nights face. When I think of this I feel like it resembles that time when Homer shot Marge in the face with makeup in The Simpsons. See figure one for reference.

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Figure 1

NO. 3 – THE UGLY PANTS

This is definitely something girls can identify with and I just know deep in my brain cave that we all have a pair of ugly pants. The pants you wear when you know they wont be seen, the pants you’ve had for just a little bit too long, the pants you bought from that weird Disney section of Topshop underwear. These are your ugly pants and you wear them because you are too lazy to wear nice pants because who has the time! Who wants to be uncomfortable in brazilian briefs and lace undies when you can wear a pair that are like PJ’s for your butt. Not me.

NO. 4 – YOU CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU ACTUALLY WASHED YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES

Oh my god this issue plagues me every day – for about ten minutes. Then I put my makeup sponge down and I forget until the next day, and this happens again and again and again. Subsequently I’m pretty sure I haven’t washed it in a month. I KNOW it’s bad. You’re thinking – “how can this girl lecture me about taking my makeup off after a night out but it turns out she is such utter scum herself?” I know. I should know better but the fact is I forget, and like all lazy habits I will only correct it when something goes really horribly wrong  (like a colony of spots appears on my chin or the sponge actually disintegrates in my hand).

NO. 5 – THE COMMITMENT TO COMFORT

It’s 8pm and you’ve taken your makeup off, for once you’ve actually done some uni work, and your hair is in the most appalling excuse for a messy bun the world has even seen. You may even have sudocrem on your spots and your ugly pants on, anything goes. But then someone invites you out. How DARE they? Do they not know what you have committed to this night already? You are IN BED and they have the AUDACITY to suggest a SOCIAL ACTIVITY? This really rustles my jimmies even though the person so kindly inviting me out is not at fault at all and I am just really lazy.

I like to call this the “nope” mood because everything other than your current comfy situation is a nope. You could have plans which have been set for 3 months and still feel 100% nope, and you have to add an extra 50% of nope on if you’re sleepy too. There are things you can do to avoid this, like leave your makeup on or don’t get into your bed nest like the lazy bird girl you are. But we all know that sometimes the sudocrem calls to you and the pull is too strong to resist.*

*No matter how this makes it sound, I do not eat or interfere with sudocrem

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