How to look after your money: by a girl who cannot look after her money

Welcome friends and prepare for intense learning. I, however, am preparing to be crying at the end of this blog post due my financial status. Given that the introduction and title of this post heavily implies (states) that I am not very good (bad) with money you may be doubting why you should read this. Your guess is as good as mine – enjoy!

Firstly, many people will tell you to plan your meals and do big food shops every 2 weeks so that your spending on food is limited to this shop and this only. If you hate yourself then yeah you can do this, but personally I prefer to go to sains every time I need something big or small. This often leads to me buying one cheap necessity item and about 60 other things that I do not need and could definitely have avoided buying. For instance I often try to avoid the sweets aisle and the aisle with the fresh egg pasta because these are my kryptonite (weird combo I know, they are never consumed together don’t worry). But I SOMEHOW always end up with fresh egg pasta and sweets. Once I even accompanied my boyfriend on a Tesco shop (not even me shopping this time guys) and left the store with my own Novelty Halloween Skeleton Rat Toy. I still count this as a necessity and not a mistake though, and he and I split the cost of Skeleton Rat (I consider this a wise financial investment).

Secondly, university should be the time where you learn to cook a nice selection of meals to save u some monie$$$ – or at least enough meals to show off to your housemates for the first few weeks. However I never managed this. In the first week I learned how to make spaghetti bolognese and it revolutionised my life. Then about a month (and several successful spag bol meals) later I realised that chilli con carne is basically spag bol with kidney beans and chilli which sent me into another frenzy. These two meals are clearly enough for my simple mind/stomach because I have never learned to make anything else. Actually – that’s not strictly true. I did learn to make mac and cheese but every time I make it my sauce explodes in the microwave and gets everywhere so it’s really just a lost cause (see Figure 1 below). A piece of advice I will give is not to live off ready meals bc they are v expense… but if you’re going to I would heavily recommend Sainsbury’s butter chicken and pilau rice because it is fire emoji 100 emoji tick emoji.

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Figure 1 – Now you know I am not always glam blogger gal and in fact just simple mac and cheese failure girl

Thirdly, DO NOT GO OUT FOR MEALS. I have done this way too much because it is the most tempting thing in the world. You’ve just finished a lib sesh, it’s cold outside and you’re not looking forward to another meal of reheated spag bol – then someone suggests Nandos. Well what’s a girl to do? Because of this I have had 3 Nandos meals in 2 months, 3 Wagamamas and god knows how many Maccies (four, and do they even count?) and a few more for luck. It is the quickest and easiest way to burn through 15 quid (not in Maccies, god what’s wrong with you if you spend 15 pounds in McDonalds) if you don’t include going out out. Take my advice – go home, eat your reheated left overs, have a little cry and then go to bed at 9pm okay? You’ll be better for it in the morning.

And my fourth piece of advice would be do. not. buy. clothes. (full stops for extra emphasis). You have enough of a wardrobe left over from college and in 2 weeks you’ll be way too lazy to wear anything nice to uni anyway. Honestly I circulate 5 outfits that I wear to uni and I’m pretty sure everyone else does too. I also haven’t worn a skirt in weeks because for some reason it seems like more of an effort than trousers (basically just cba to find tights without holes in). I don’t know what it is about university that does this to a person, I had always heard it but based on my college experience I never believed it but god damn it’s true. Put down those heeled boots, hang up that crop top and buy a pair of trainers and a tinted moisturiser because you aren’t going to be making an effort for a while babe. I like to think that everybody reserves their effort-making for nights out because they happen a lot more than when at college AND who wants to be slumming it in the club? Not me sista.

This brings me to my fifth and final lesson – watch yourself on nights out. You and your drunk self is basically the kermit/other kermit meme come to life. And when money is involved you might as well only be one kermit (dark kermit, for reference) because u gon spend it. The best piece of advice I can offer is to take out a set sum of monies before the club and then leave your card at home. Your other self will be in the back of your head like “what if there’s an emergency? What if we miss the train and need to get a taxi? What if -” no. These are all lies and really the devil on your shoulder wants you to bring that plastic so you can buy 6 more drinks than you need and way, way too many chicken wings. Trust me and leave that card at home.*

*I am not responsible for anything bad that happens as a result of someone leaving their card at home bc of my advice xxx

So to summarise, you probably shouldn’t listen to me but ngl I’m kinda an expert on what not to do – even though I do it all the time. This is less of an indication of lack of knowledge and more a lack of restraint. I’m not sure if this is better or worse but the blog post is over now so I’m just going to avoid thinking about it.

C ya xxxxxx

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